Category: Living

7 Reasons You Might Feel Lonely Even Though You’re Not Alone

Posted on by Gregory Wood
Photo by Andre Benz on Unsplash

Americans are currently facing an epidemic of loneliness. In New York City, this epidemic appears to be nearly universal despite it being one of the most densely packed and busiest cities in the nation.  It may seem strange that someone can feel lonely when surrounded by 8 million people, but, sadly, it’s all too common.

So what is going on?

A recent study published in Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology sheds some light what makes a person feel lonely. In sum, they suggest that loneliness has to do with the quality of one’s relationships as opposed to the number of people in one’s life, per se. In other words, many people are feeling terribly alone despite not being alone. read more

Navigating Relationships

Posted on by Gregory Wood

Since my divorce I have been making an attempt at online dating to learn about different types of people. I found that most of the ladies lack some basic functioning or live with their kids. I do feel some degree of independence is needed.  I say this because I have worked hard to have what I call a degree of responsibility and keep my business in order. For years I had trouble holding jobs. I felt I needed to figure out why. Therefore I did did not believe in dating or having kids after marriage. Why create more problems and stress for myself. In my brief marriage I did see my issues due to my Asberger diagnosis that were a lot more intense than I thought they were. I could never get my ex wife to learn to work with me.   

I met several woman who seem to think that I am stuck in my ways because I have been single most of my life. This is an example of how neurotypical people (in this case a female) mislabel people on the spectrum based on their ignorance of the characteristics of individuals who are neurodivergent. They look at my difficulty with change as being stuck in my ways. No different when I had a manager tell me years ago I lacked social skills. Some people get attached to certain beliefs, for example, stuck in their ways. Not a very common aspect of finding myself on the spectrum.  

I am finding at times I really want no part of the dating world because I work hard to function while most people, I am learning, seem to just go by the seat of their pants.  

Before and during Covid I did an experiment where I got on several online dating sites. My goal was to just meet people and see the different situations they are in without getting into a relationship. I did not want to make the same mistake as in my marriage. And with Asberger’s sometimes it was hard for me to see social cues in the dating world. I met over 50 people in a 3 year period. The experience taught me to see what I am not willing to get involved with. It was interesting to learn that many people are in some interesting situations. In the end it would be best to be with a person who is like me and who understands Asbergers.