Neurodiverse In The Open: To Self-Identify Or Not?

by Cris Brady

Socially, in the dating world, I have disclosed my challenge.  My ex wife took advantage of my condition and some people really just do not know how to or do not want to learn about it. It is kind of a confusing issue for me. At times I just have to see how a person may be interested in accepting  me and take it from there.  – Greg

Neurodiversity and Self-Identification

We’ve all seen the failures of the one-size fits all approach to policy, education and workplace design. As we learn more about neuroscience, and best practices for learning and producing, it’s become increasingly obvious that our systems are too large, awkward, and set in their ways to effect substantive change in a reasonable amount of time. As a result, we often rely on reactionary solutions, but with every solution comes a new problem. One of the biggest has been our reliance on forcing people to self-identify in order to receive accommodations.

The Cons of Self-Identification

Why would anyone choose to NOT self-identify and get the accommodations they need?

Although self-identifying provides access to much needed services, there are several reasons people choose to go without:

  • They may want to shed a label they’ve been forced to carry their whole lives;
  • They’re looking prove to themselves that they can accomplish something (e.g. college) without help;
  • They’re tired of inaccurate stigmas and/or misinformation, that masks their abilities;
  • They don’t have any actual proof (e.g. an official assessment) required to get accommodations;
  • They’re afraid they might lose their job;
  • They simply don’t want to be treated differently, and/or;
  • They aren’t even aware they even have a learning disability.
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Autism & Masking

By Robert Schmus

I can relate to this article.  I worked in the hospitality industry. There was a sign on the door going to the front desk saying you are going on stage now. Being on stage in serving the customers. I had a general manager who said that when ask how you are doing he only wanted to hear great.  At the end of my shift I would be tired from making.   – Greg

Masking neurodiversity 

Recently within the autistic community, there has been much talk regarding masking. Masking, also known as camouflaging, is the practice of artificially performing certain social behaviors in order to fit in with the neurotypical world. This can include mimicking social behaviors and repressing certain autistic behaviors, such as stimming.

Many autistics have used masking in their lives. For instance, one study showed that many autistics mask in order to connect with others, find a job, or even gain a romantic partner (Hull et al. 2017). There are times in which masking can be forced upon by others. For example, a teacher or parent might force an autistic teen to act a certain way so that they can blend in, even though the characteristic that this autistic youth engages might be calming to them. From the outside looking in, it would seem that this is efficient. However, masking can do much more harm than good.


Let’s put it this way, as an autistic person myself, masking prevents us from truly being ourselves. We are told to deny the characteristics that make each of us unique. For instance, there are autistics out there who have to hide certain interests because neurotypicals might see them as “weird”. Because of this, autistics would mimic how neurotypicals would talk, act, and behave.trying to hide how they really feel so that they can act “normal” (when it comes to our world, there is no normal).

Some autistics could use masking when it comes to their difficulties. For example, an autistic who has great difficulty giving eye contact would hide this issue so that he or she would not be seen as strange. This might be seen as a way to ease into a social environment, but the reality of it is that it could cause mental health issues, specifically anxiety.

The harm of masking

Anxiety has been shown to be prevalent through masking. According to a British study in 2017, the autistic adults that were interviewed universally felt mentally, physically, and emotionally drained from masking, as well as having a great sense of loneliness (Hull et al. 2017).

This anxiety caused by masking has shown to be prevalent with autistic women. It was reported that, due to autism in women being highly undiagnosed, the difficulties that many autistic women face are frequently mislabeled or misdiagnosed. This would force them to mask to fit in (Bargiela 2016). Studies have also shown that masking amongst autistic women has a price, with many reporting feeling overwhelmed when hiding a certain characteristic, such as stimming, because that stimming helps them with regulating emotions (Hull et al. 2017). Autistic women already have difficulties with being underrepresented, masking just makes it worse.

Now I want to be very clear that every autistic is different when it comes to masking. However, I do have personal experience with masking. Growing up there were a few tics that I had to help me calm down when I felt anxious. One of them was known as flicking, in which I would find an object, like a pen cap, and would flick in my hands. I would also rock back and forth while listening to music on my MP3 player when I felt anxious.

These methods helped me, but those around me greatly discouraged them, especially flicking. People would tell me to stop and lecture me on how weird it was for me to do that. For this, I was forced to mask myself from not doing it. Deep down I didn’t think it was weird, as it helped my anxiety. So, in order to keep my sanity, I continued to stim in secret. It wasn’t until later on in life when I found out that this behavior was known as stimming and that it is usual amongst fellow autistics. To this day, I continue to stim and have no shame towards it.

Removing the masks

For so long, we autistics had to mask their certain characteristics causing much anxiety. But we have to mask it because the neurotypical world feels that it is “strange”. Why should we do this to please them? This is who we are and how we cope. I say enough is enough and that we shouldn’t mask what helps us feel better.

The neurotypical world needs to listen to us and see why we need to do these things without hiding them. It is through this awareness that the neurotypical can see that what we are doing gives us a piece of mind. In a world where anxiety is at an all time high, why must we autistics mask how we cope?