Mental Health & Relationships: Dealing with an Abuser or Narcissist

By Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT

Narcissistic and Abusive Relationships

Narcissists are antagonistic and selfish and can be abusive. Dealing with a narcissist is challenging.  Whether the relationship is with a parent, sibling, or lover, love may feel out of reach. Do you feel emotionally abandoned or abused, vacillate between hope and pain, love and resentment, and staying or cutting off contact?

Living together breeds hurt, resentment, and anxiety as you grow accustomed to self-sacrifice and emotional abuse, or even physical abuse. Loving someone who is unable to show love or who alternates between care and abuse is confusing and heart-wrenching. It’s also addictive.

Narcissists are antagonistic, selfish, and highly defensive. Loved ones often feel hurt and frustrated by the disregard for their feelings and needs. Many feel betrayed by the loving person they once knew who disappeared over time.
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Neurodiverse In The Open: To Self-Identify Or Not?

by Cris Brady

Socially, in the dating world, I have disclosed my challenge.  My ex wife took advantage of my condition and some people really just do not know how to or do not want to learn about it. It is kind of a confusing issue for me. At times I just have to see how a person may be interested in accepting  me and take it from there.  – Greg

Neurodiversity and Self-Identification

We’ve all seen the failures of the one-size fits all approach to policy, education and workplace design. As we learn more about neuroscience, and best practices for learning and producing, it’s become increasingly obvious that our systems are too large, awkward, and set in their ways to effect substantive change in a reasonable amount of time. As a result, we often rely on reactionary solutions, but with every solution comes a new problem. One of the biggest has been our reliance on forcing people to self-identify in order to receive accommodations.

The Cons of Self-Identification

Why would anyone choose to NOT self-identify and get the accommodations they need?

Although self-identifying provides access to much needed services, there are several reasons people choose to go without:

  • They may want to shed a label they’ve been forced to carry their whole lives;
  • They’re looking prove to themselves that they can accomplish something (e.g. college) without help;
  • They’re tired of inaccurate stigmas and/or misinformation, that masks their abilities;
  • They don’t have any actual proof (e.g. an official assessment) required to get accommodations;
  • They’re afraid they might lose their job;
  • They simply don’t want to be treated differently, and/or;
  • They aren’t even aware they even have a learning disability.
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