Coping Strategies

9 years ago I went to residential treatment at the Ranch for 60 days due to anxiety issues and to get a break from the pressure coming from my ex wife.    A lot of what is talked about in this article in our group.  The 60 days on a ranch saved my life.    I did equine therapy as well.  Today I make sure I take mental breaks when it is necessary.  – Greg

Searches by Kelly Urban (AANE)

The Fallacy of Simplification (Psychological) In mental health and trauma processing, “just let it go” is often viewed as a toxic simplification.
The Fallacy: Assuming that letting go is a simple, conscious choice that can happen instantly.
The Harm: For individuals with trauma, ADHD, or autism, the brain may flag certain memories as “dangerous,” making it physically and neurologically difficult to stop ruminating. Telling someone to “just let it go” can be invalidating and dismissive of their actual cognitive experience.

  •  For individuals with Autism, ADHD, and Complex PTSD (C-PTSD), “just letting go” is physically difficult because their nervous systems are often stuck in a state of high alert. Healing involves bottom-up approaches (calming the body first) rather than just “top-down” talk therapy.

Managing Emotional Flashbacks
Emotional flashbacks in C-PTSD don’t always have a visual component; they are “time-warps” into feelings of helplessness or terror. 
Identify the state: Use a script like, “I am having a flashback. My brain feels afraid, but I am safe in the present”.
Physical Grounding: Use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique (5 things you see, 4 you can touch, etc.) to reconnect with the environment.
Shock the Senses: For intense spirals, “shock” your system back to the present with ice water on your face or holding an ice cube.
Deconstruct “Eternity Thinking”: Remind yourself that while the feeling seems endless, it is a temporary physiological response that will pass. 


Neuro-Affirming Therapeutic Approaches
Traditional talk therapy can sometimes be overwhelming or retraumatizing for neurodivergent individuals. Modern options include:
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): Helps reprocess traumatic memories by shifting focus away from the distressing imagery through bilateral stimulation (like tapping or eye movement).
Internal Family Systems (IFS): Works with different “parts” of the self, such as the “Inner Critic” or the “Inner Child,” to build self-compassion.
Somatic Therapies: Focuses on releasing stored tension in the body through movement, swaying, or restorative yoga.
Special Interest Integration: Using personal passions (e.g., Minecraft, art, or animals) as a safe “anchor” during therapy to process difficult narratives. 


Managing “Stuck” Thoughts (Rumination)
ADHD and Autism can create intense mental loops. To break them:
Externalize Thoughts: Move thoughts from your head to paper or voice notes to view them objectively.
Scheduled “Worry Time”: Allocate 10–15 minutes a day specifically for worrying, then transition to a high-stimulation “fun” activity to engage the ADHD brain’s need for dopamine.
Sensory Regulation: Use weighted blankets, deep pressure, or noise-canceling headphones to reduce the sensory “noise” that often fuels emotional dysregulation. 


Lifestyle Accommodations
Pacing and Rest: Recognize that “rest” is a medical necessity for a traumatized neurodivergent system, not laziness.
Environmental Tweaks: Reduce triggers by dimming lights, using social scripts for difficult interactions, or advocating for remote work.
Neuro-Affirming Communities: Seek peer support groups specifically for neurodivergent trauma survivors to combat the isolation and shame often associated with these conditions.  

Indoor Activities for Children with Autism: Where Fun Meets Focus

By Justin Bennett

Being indoors doesn’t mean the world has to shrink. For parents raising children with autism, the home can become a dynamic space, one where curiosity, connection, and calm collide. Structured creativity and predictable flexibility often work best, but that doesn’t mean the activities have to be boring. Below are seven vivid ways to transform ordinary moments into something richer: rhythmic, relational, and real.

Sensory Sensations

Sometimes, a few scoops of rice and a plastic bin unlock something bigger than play. For many autistic children, tactile activities are more than just amusing, they regulate and reconnect. You can start simple: a shallow tub, dry pasta, small scoops, toy animals buried beneath. The key is repetition paired with variation. One day it’s a mini-construction site with diggers. The next, it’s an arctic rescue mission in chilled water beads. What you’re really offering isn’t distraction, it’s engaging sensory bin play that balances stimulation with predictability. These setups offer control over intensity and pace, letting your child be the architect of their own calm.

Creative STEM Learning

Not every science lesson starts with goggles and baking soda. Sometimes, it’s just lining up dominoes to explore cause and effect, or testing how tall magnetic tiles can go before they fall. What matters most is doing it beside your child—not to teach, but to think together. For children with autism, structured STEM setups that encourage joint attention can create powerful pockets of connection. It doesn’t have to be elaborate: a build-it-yourself marble run, a LEGO bridge designed in pairs. In those moments, the project becomes the playground.

Active Obstacle Course

Energy doesn’t vanish just because it’s raining, or because the world feels like too much. Movement still calls. Indoors, a zig-zag of painter’s tape across the floor, a path of cushions, chairs turned into tunnels, this becomes a quest. But it’s not just about burning off energy. It’s about sequencing, planning, sensing space. Done right, a home obstacle course becomes a quiet blueprint for self-regulation, one that builds mastery without tipping into overload. Novelty, yes. But repetition is what makes it stick.

Calm‑Down Cozy Space

There are moments when the world is simply too loud. In those times, your child doesn’t need redirection, they need refuge. That’s where a personal retreat space can make all the difference. It might be a small tent draped with string lights, filled with pillows and calming textures, tucked into a quiet corner of the living room. Some parents add noise-canceling headphones, weighted lap pads, or soft visuals like lava lamps. But it doesn’t have to be a sensory showroom. At its heart, this space is a pause button. You can even offer a soothing sensory tent retreat to help your child regulate without isolation. It’s a reset zone, not a timeout.

Storytelling and Reading

Books can become bridges, especially when stories reflect your child’s world. Reading together isn’t about checking a box; it’s a shared gaze, a common rhythm. For children with autism, stories that incorporate routines, feelings, and social cues often hit differently. You can build your own visual narratives about getting a haircut or visiting Grandma, or adapt existing tales with real photos and personalized touches. Using interactive social story reading as a launchpad, parents can open conversations that otherwise stall. Ask questions, point to faces, mimic emotions. The goal isn’t literacy, it’s legibility: of emotions, expectations, and self.

A Take on Graphic Design

Here’s a twist on screen time that doesn’t feel like a compromise. Invite your child to imagine their superhero alias, family-run pizza shop, or custom cat café, and then turn it into a visual identity. Using a free logo generator online, kids can explore colors, fonts, icons, and layouts to bring that vision to life. They can choose templates, tweak graphics, and proudly download their final creation. Along the way, they’re learning visual reasoning, language for design, and the art of shaping an idea into something others can see. It’s project-based learning with a purpose.

Interactive Parent‑Child Game

You don’t need a board game collection or a therapy degree to spark something meaningful between you. Even simple games like “Guess What I’m Drawing,” “I Spy—But with Sounds,” or cooperative tower building can introduce crucial moments of turn-taking, shared attention, and repair after missteps. These games teach flexibility, sequencing, and resilience in the face of mistakes—and best of all, they’re fun. Through play‑based learning through games, the parent becomes a trusted co-player, not a therapist in disguise. That distinction matters more than we often admit.

The magic isn’t in the activity itself. It’s in the tone you set, the flexibility you allow, and the rhythm you find together. Indoor time doesn’t have to feel limited or clinical. With a mix of sensory, structured, and story-based experiences, you’re not just passing the time, you’re building skills, deepening connection, and reinforcing the idea that your home is a place of possibility. It’s not about doing more. It’s about doing what fits; intentionally, patiently, playfully. And on the days when everything goes sideways? Let that be a lesson too: that rest, recovery, and repair belong in the plan just as much as play.