One would never know by looking at me that I have a disability. Sometimes I which it was visible. I found it frustrating until I received an official disability status from the government. Up until then I was always worried if I told people about my special education, especially when interviewing for jobs right out of college, I did not know how they would react. I did not have great grades nor did I have a job or a lot extra activity to put on my resume. When I was able to find work after college, I faced some personal attacks from supervisors. I had one tell me I would never amount to much in life and just do the job he offered me. I had another supervisor where I experienced reverse discrimination. I have had co workers accuse me of being a racist without even knowing me or witnessing anything racist in any of my behavior. When I married outside my race I felt I could relate to my ex wife because we had some similar challenges. She gave me some insight to what she and many people go through. For example, we would go into to a large store and the cashier would say hi to me but not her. I took part in a peaceful protest because of my marriage experience but also for my own experiences in the workplace. I found that most people were grateful for me showing up. I had kept quiet out of fear for many years.
Category: Mental Health
Social Security Disability Approval
After many years of going from job to job with a lot of judgement being made against me and harassment towards me, I decided I needed to officially document my disability in order to have some protection in the work force. My disabilities caused frustration for me and my family for many years. I had problems with communication and difficulty interacting with others. Yet I was too social to be considered to be autistic. As a result I had difficulty maintaining jobs and relationships. My slowness in the way I move my body can be misinterpreted as being lazy, which is not the case at all.
In order to obtain my disability status I was given medical tests and the findings were dysthymic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, learning disorder, and avoidant personality disorder. I also struggled with slow processing speed but I was very detailed orientated in my work. It was determined by the state that my ability to perform sustained work over a normal work day without frequent breaks is limited. The state officials said there was also impairment in social and occupational functioning. The judge did feel that I was highly motivated to improve my success in the workplace. It took me three years to gain my disability status. After my approval some of the relationships I had changed. Some people who were supportive and kind over time became the opposite. The people who had been unkind and lacked understanding over time became very supportive. The most important change was my father’s understanding. My dad was frustrated at times because he did not understand why I could not hold a job, although he knew I did my best to be successful in the world. After my disability status was approved, our relationship improved. I viewed my dad as a boss. He knew how to manage an office but struggled on the home front. He was however, able to see my success in the volunteer world where I received several awards due to my service. My dad has passed away now, but I continue up my efforts in the community.