Mental Health & Relationships: Dealing with an Abuser or Narcissist

By Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT

Narcissistic and Abusive Relationships

Narcissists are antagonistic and selfish and can be abusive. Dealing with a narcissist is challenging.  Whether the relationship is with a parent, sibling, or lover, love may feel out of reach. Do you feel emotionally abandoned or abused, vacillate between hope and pain, love and resentment, and staying or cutting off contact?

Living together breeds hurt, resentment, and anxiety as you grow accustomed to self-sacrifice and emotional abuse, or even physical abuse. Loving someone who is unable to show love or who alternates between care and abuse is confusing and heart-wrenching. It’s also addictive.

Narcissists are antagonistic, selfish, and highly defensive. Loved ones often feel hurt and frustrated by the disregard for their feelings and needs. Many feel betrayed by the loving person they once knew who disappeared over time.
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Intimate Relationship Failures From an Autistic Perspective

By: Zosia Zaks, MEd, CRCZaks Autism Consulting

The standard narrative positions autism as the cause of relationship trouble when a non-autistic person dates or falls in love with an autistic person. The autistic partner is assumed to be the disruptive or difficult one. Self-help books offer non-autistic partners tips on how to cope with their autistic partner’s neurodivergent traits and behaviors. This paradigm is rarely questioned. Even many autistic people assume their autism-related features are a serious barrier to relationship success. This is simply not true. My three serious, long-term relationships of many years all ended in total failure – but ultimately, discrimination and ableism is to blame – not autism.

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