The Importance of a Support Team and Why

Everyone in the world needs a support system to to share the joy during good times and in tougher times to help with challenges. How people use their support system can make a difference of a wise choice or a choice that can lead to a harder path. 

The creation of a support team was a result of of getting sick and ending up in the hospital due to septic shock and dehydration. I am grateful for my sister taking charge.  Before I got sick I was dealing with several changes in my life.    

My father passed away in January and the adjustment of his passing away meant the loss of his strength end encouragement and a place to go in Naples, Fl.  I also had to learn to manage my finances from a big picture standpoint for the long term.   

I got married to my now ex-wife the same year after dating for two years.     Within a month of getting married she lost her job at the post office as a letter carrier due to degenerative back disease.  We lived in my small one bedroom apartment while we were waiting for her to bring in some income.  I was providing support and paying all her bills. Her adult children needed help at the same time. I felt overwhelmed and then pressured into purchasing a house or larger apartment. I felt scared moving out of my apt because of the outlay of money and it was a place that my father helped me move into. My apartment gave me a feeling of being safe. During this year I felt very much alone with no support system. My wife was trying to be my support system but also creating a division between me and my family. The only way I knew how to deal with all the stress was to sleep or stay in my bed under my weighted blanket where I felt safe. I did not feel like eating or even drinking water. I needed a break from my wife due to the intense pressure, so she took to a trip. During this time it gave my brain a chance to rest. I was so worn down that I got sick and I thought it was just a chest cold. I contacted my wife who raced back because I did not want to call 911. She got me to the hospital just in time or I would have been gone.  I learned that as a person with Aspergers I can not deal with constant stress in a way that most people can. The side effects of Aspergers for me is depression and anxiety. I am very routine-orientated and need slow adjustments to new environments. Moving was a hard adjustment, but not for my ex wife.   

After I came out of the hospital my goal was to regain my health. Part of the recovery effort was creating a support system so that I was not alone. The goals of the support system has been to learn how to set limits with my ex wife personally and financially. I have a therapist who helps with emotional support, my energy healer helps support my body, which includes the proper supplements. I receive support from my financial advisor and my sister in paying my bills and insuring  financial sustainability to care for my needs over my lifetime. I receive physical therapy support in moving my body in order to reduce stress and increase confidence. The President has advisors and a support team and I have something similar. Me, like others on the spectrum are good people, kind people, but need an extra hand in the crazy world we live in. 

Energy with Nancy

A major challenge for me in addition to my Asbergers is anxiety, which in my marriage shows up in the ever changing dynamics of my wife’s choices. In addition the constant verbal abuse from my wife, it also takes a toll on my body’s energy system.

When I first came back to start on a year’s program of acupuncture and energy healing, my health needed to be rebuilt. I had been in the hospital for what I thought was the flu and turned out to be septic shock. After a year of stressful living with my wife and financially supporting her and her kids, I was worn out mentally. I was also trying to recover from the loss of my father who was my rock. We started a program to rebuild my health physically and mentally.   

When I first started the program I would receive acupuncture and energy healing with some discussion. Over the course of a year it has been a progression of learning body awareness skills like grounding, breathing, and mantras. This support provides safety with a place and routine to learn how to take care of my self and learning boundaries. The hardest boundaries were creating financial ones and now I have a safe structure in place. My next goal is to cut out the verbal abuse.

One of the first things my healer gave me was a rock that looks like a egg as a symbol to help me center myself. While on the Chi machine we moved my body and used color therapy.  Colored glasses, blue and red, helped with my centering. My favorite was yellow because it reminded me of the sun and sometimes would bring light into my sad mind. I would take a step forward in my efforts and at times three steps back. The yellow glasses would pull me out of that mood. The next step is to get me into a workout routine with a trainer. Then, the next step in the healing process is to study the four agreements. Learning some of the concepts will help me reduce my mental stress and improve relationships with people.