Facing Frustration

I can relate to many of the points in this article.   For years I was not aware I was on the spectrum.  Now that I am aware it can still be difficult.  In my career I was often misunderstood. I can be rigid in my thinking and I am repetitive in my thoughts. I have learned over the years to disclose my autism as needed.  In dating I do get some rejection. I wish I knew about it when I was working.  The hard part at times is reminding myself of my strengths and successes.  – Greg

Dania Jekel, Executive Director, and Sonia Janks, Contributing Editor

There are many words and phrases connected with autism that we hear a lot — like anxiety, executive functioning, bullying, passions, social communication, and sensory sensitivities. But I think there is one word that underpins many areas, but is often ignored. That word is frustration.

The definition of frustration is “the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something.” Over the past 25 years, I have seen this emotion become a common thread when individuals with an Asperger/autism profiles feel they are unable to change a circumstance or achieve a goal (whether that is actually true or not.) The root causes are many and vary depending on a person’s traits and lived experience, but here are some of the main reasons why I often see frustration accumulate:

  • Delayed, inaccurate, or unacknowledged diagnosis. This can often be the first frustration that is the core of all of the other frustrations. Before a person’s neurological differences are recognized or understood, many things just don’t make sense. Why are certain tasks harder? Why are things confusing? Why do things seem easier for others? Even after a diagnosis is realized, frustration can continue if people you come in contact with dismiss or minimize it. 
  • Not feeling understood. Whether communication challenges make it hard for the person to convey their thoughts the way they want, or they are trying to interact with those who lack the ability to relate to different neurologies, the absence of understanding can cause deep frustration. read more

“you can do it if you try”

from OldLady With Autism

Well, no, not always.. in fact not often. I have neurological struggles which keep me from understanding expectations and from recognizing situations or intentions that are completely obvious to others. I frequently do not understand “what they want” under many circumstances.
“Your’e just not trying”. “You just don’t pay attention”, “You just don’t care”
I have heard versions of this all of my life. I suppose it is meant to be encouraging or to stir me on to even greater achievements or make me feel guilty because I have not accomplished something others believe I “should” “can” or want to do.
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